Well going to England!!! So Rhubarb: shot glasses for you. Raspberry: what do you want? Well you can always SMS me later...

Have fun y'all! Revise well and don't do/say/dream/eat/whatever "insert action/noun/verb/adjective here" anything I wouldn't!! On second thought... I'll leave it up to you to decide! Anyway, cya!

What is this I see? (Rhetorical question and don't think I don't know what you're thinking, 'cos I do!) In the danger of sounding like Umbridge: hem hem! Rhubarb, where is your comment?! I write a wonderful text about BO for you and no comment appears? Naughty! Should be deep deep vista-in-pink-with-pink-belt-thrown-into-the-hole-along-with-you trouble, but as you've got exams approaching, we ie I can probably make an exception just this once. I don't write just because I like the sight of my own writing... OK that was SUPPOSED to be a "quote transformation" of "I don't talk just because I like the sound of my own voice" but it wasn't too successful.

ANYway moving with the speed of light right along: How are you all? Yay :) or awww :( depending on your answer. So what have you all been up to? Please, not all at once!

Raspberry: Interesting or rather disgusting comment you posted there... Scary. You could have maybe stolen his clothes and burnt them or er... well at least try and wash them. A gas mask is probably still the best solution. Yup, "when the perfume is worse than the body odor". You should have told him to save the deo and just roll in dung... Oops sorry, yeah a bit on the malicious side today... Did you have fun at least? Gawd knows "life is like a roller coaster you just gotta ride it" to quote whoever sang that song. Good to see that he (the singer) seems to think we have control over our lives... Maybe we don't. Maybe there really is a greater meaning to all this governed by some divine power? However THAT is a different discussion, so we'll discuss it later (or never).

Rhubarb: How's revision?

Got German exam later on. Yay! NOT. Yesterday we had to do an English and French text comprehension... in German... Basically you received a text in English (and later on one in French) then we had to summarize it in German and answer English and French questions in German. For the last part we had to write a text about a question they gave us in English and French. Think I forgot the conclusion in English... OH WELL you can't win 'em all. In fact I can't win any... But who cares? Can do Zoology in Sheffield.

Will be in England in 18 hours until next Thursday. No Internet as yet at grandparents, but I'll prob go to Lyn's or summat to use it.

"Oy" to quote Manny the Mammoth from "Ice Age" and Timon the Meerkat from "The Lion King"... As dead as a caught, shot, dead, plucked, disembowled, prepared, stuffed, marinated, roasted, served, eaten, digested and excreted Dodo!!! That in more than one sense of the word. (Whoa haven't used that expression for a long time! It's kinda long tho; by the time you've finished it you can't even remember WHY you were as dead as caught, shot dead ... [just kidding you don't have to read it all again] dodo...) Can't sleep although I'm bloody tired. Feels like I'm floating. It honestly feels as tho my soul were detaching itself from the body. Surprised Brain is still operational... Yup used "feels" twice up there, but never mind. Can't be bothered to find a synonym. Here, some work for ya: you look for one then tell me 'bout it. Afraid of over-sleeping and missing the train... Oh well. Gonna be seriously begging for sleep this afternoon, but there's none to be had... Hope you're doing better. CYA!

"but seriously some ppl's B.O. is to much to take - can't they smell it? I think people don't smell their own 'smell' do they? no matter how strong it is.. reminds me of that scene in Perfume when he's in the cave trying to smell his 'smell' hahah sounds pretty weird but u know the bit. :9" from Rhubarb.

OK, Rhubarb to answer your question about B.O. (Body odour) from the 10th of March. Er...

Well I know what you mean. We had the same problem at Moser with these 2 people. One of them unwittingly revealed being allergic to soap, so they didn't use any. Okayyyy, but there are non-soap cleansing products you can use... Also: next time keep THAT kind of shit to yourself!! Oh yeah N said that during a Maths exam he sat behind that said person and as we were in a small space quite squashed together you can imagine what happened. Yup, he got regular wafts of stench coming his way... In fact that person later went to Geneva uni to do Chemistry. Now, usually we don't have lectures with Chem people EXCEPT for Maths. So during the (a different) Maths exam I was sitting behind that person... One word summary: Help!!!

That answers nothing though, so moving on: can people smell their own B.O.? Hmmm, well let's start with you first: can YOU smell your own B.O.? If you can, then they must too. So either they ignore it or they don't care less. Is it always the same people who have B.O.? If it is then maybe they don't realize how bad it is and should maybe be told. Maybe you could hint at it by offering them a Deodorant spray/roll on or maybe deo wipes. Either that or they don't care... It can happen to anyone just once not having used enough deo or being really stressed.

You know how some B.O.s aren't as bad as others? Well scientists did a test and made people smell other people's smelly t-shirts and rate them (so say how much they liked/hated the smell of them). The scientists then found that we tend to like B.O.s of people who have different immune defences than we do. That way the offspring will be protected against a wider range of illnesses. So possibly they may seem really strong to you, but not to others for that reason. Apparently sweat contains DNA. Can't find any quotes proving this though... Anyway don't take that as a fact, but I think it may do, but what do I know? I didn't even make into second year of Bio!

You only have one choice really: ask them whether they just like the smell of themselves or whether they just like (smell) polluting/stinking the place out... You could further go on to telling them that they should be considered a Biological Weapon! Or not... Depends who they are and how much you like them. Maybe take a gas mask next time...

At least with bad breath you can offer them a, well several even breath mints or even just normal sweets or get them to shut up! You can't really say: "I'll just spray some Deo on you." can you?

Another problem is when people use TOO much perfume!!! My conclusion: they marinate in it, they bathe in that instead of water, they go through ten bottles a week or they wash their clothes in it. I mean REALLY... As N said: "There are no mosquitoes about..." ie they don't need to put so much "repellent" on. I mean yeah a subtle hint of scent when someone walks past is fine, but no a great big "pouff" that nearly knocks you out! Honestly...

Also In England they also use that Lynx deo (Axe in Switzerland- the same with a different name) as room fresheners! They must do, because it smells of it everywhere! Maybe they put it in the paint. Hello, People? There are other deos, you know... Talking 'bout smell diversity.

Yeah know what you mean. That guy in "The Perfume" didn't have a smell, did he? Great, so he thought he'd make himself one out of other people's B.O. Look where that got him! Yup. Eaten... But yay it had Snape aka Alan Rickman in it!! Er... Moving rapidly right along.

So what is worse? Oh wait that wasn't the question, was it? The question was about whether people can smell their own smell or not. What do other's say? Yup we've actually got OTHER people's opinions this time!!! Here is an "interview" with D:

do you think people can smell their own smell?
I mean body odour?
i think yeah sometimes, but maybe not as the other can smell it
some people stink too much
and they don't seem to notice
but maybe we stink for em also
i mean odours are quiet subjective, like for perfume
Then there was some off-topicness until:
so what's worse?
Too much perfume
or a person who stinks?
I don't know both make me sick
So most people seem to think that people can smell their own smell... Guess you were wrong!

Now for the benefit of all... A few dreams. Be warned they are weird. We are talkin' 'bout me after all, not some sane person!


Dream 1 (15th of March)


Was staying with D (girl from uni) in a big hotel room. (Will post a picture later; once you can attach printers to your brain and can print what you imagine...). The room consisted in two large spaces separated by a room containing the toilet. There was a large double bed with two nightstands on either side of it and a single bed with a heightened surface next to the wall was at the right of it in the first space. Above the double bed there was a window. To enter the second space one has to walk through a corridor. Opposite the toilet room there was a single bed against the wall with once again a heightened surface between the bed and the wall. Once in the second space there was a door with an old key in the lock leading out to some unknown location. To the right of that door, one could go down a flight of stairs. At the back of the room, there was a very large bathroom with two sliding doors. I couldn't decide which bed to take, just as I had made a choice D said she wanted that one so I took the one next to the double bed. That big bathroom scared me as I thought it was haunted. I was about to ask D whether this place was very old. The walls were all made from red brick.
All of a sudden I noticed a little bird. It was about the size of a robin. It fluttered around and landed on a chair and changed into what looked like a brown owl bout 30 centimeters high. I thought it was a "Kukubarra" or something, but in fact it was "The Bird Of Happiness". It sat there and stared at me with its yellow eyes. Then in twittered: "There's no happiness here. No happiness." I was going to grab it to put it back outside, but it pecked me on the hand and took off through the open window above the double bed.
At some point I told D about it, but she couldn't care less if I had told her it was raining without there being any clouds.
Somehow I was on a landing that led to a swimming pool and the grandparents were swimming there. I went down to them. They were in a "forepool" with a swimming instructor. At the bottom of this rather small, but very deep pool a trapdoor could be seen. Granny asked the instructor whether one had to go through this trapdoor to reach the main swimming pool. Grandpa said "no" and dragged her off. I however dived down to take a closer look at it. I found I could breathe underwater. The instructor cried out to an unseen person: "Fetch the paramedics! Someone's breathing in water!


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Dream 1.2 (15th of March)


That was seemingly the end of that dream... I was in a bookshop in Geneva and they were selling special editions of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" with notes made by JRR Tolkien (Author of "Lord of the Rings" among other things; died in 1973) in yellow on each page describing what JK Rowling was trying to achieve with certain writing styles and what certain things were implying. (Slight time problem as "HP and the DH" was written about 34 years after Tolkien died.) I wanted to buy it, however it was really expensive, something between 40 and 70 Francs. Since I already had the book another one would be a waste of money.
I was ridding in a bus and my mother called. She said: "You shouldn't keep taking the bus to get home! It isn't safe! You should take the train!" Suddenly I thought of England and P. How was I going to get from Doncaster station to the grandparents? The train didn't go along there, so I'd have to walk... I was going to have to tell him that. Anyway I was really annoyed that people kept interfering that I hung up.
It was in the middle of the night, which was strange as it had been mid-afternoon just seconds before. I was back at the hotel room. D was sitting on a sofa in the middle of the room playing an Apple© keyboard. (You could plug it into a Mac and then somehow play it) She asked whether we should get some food from Marks and Spencer (or Marks and Sparks; never did see the difference). I said: "Sure." The room changed appearance into a ground floor house. There were wooden shelves on the walls filled with VHS tapes. The TV was on and I showed D the DVDs I had brought from home. The selection was rather wide and for some reason "All dogs go to Heaven 3" (doesn't exist) was part of it. She said she had seen the 2, so she put it on and it basically was the story of Charlie (main dog character) as a puppy.
My mother magically appeared and said she was sorry for interfering. As she hugged me these two girls appeared at the door. We could see them through the glass pane in the front door, but I looked through the window (right of the door) to get a better look at them. D opened the door whilst my mother had disappeared again. I thought D knew them, but she didn't. They said we had 20 minutes to photograph them in. We just stared at them.


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Dream 2 (15th of March)


There was a big underground cave and a guy who had been "frozen" for several years just woke up to update all his machines as he had missed 10 years of modernization. He went up some steps to his room and switched his Mac on. It said: "Look who it is!" just as his black friend entered the room. His friend told him something as he was unplugging his mother's mouse to plug it into his own computer via USB. Just then his mother came back and was everything else but pleased to find her mouse unplugged. He left the room fuming and turned into a Robin Hood character from the "Robin Hood: The Legend of Sherwood" computer game.
I was playing the game and decided to find out what happens if you kill a main character, so I made Robin Hood go over to him and start a fight (which is impossible in the actual game). Of course RH won and the other guy was sliced. Later RH was riding along on a horse with Little John (who had his own horse) and were accosted by enemy soldiers, who attacked them instantly. Somehow RH's sword was suspended in mid air so he'd have to jump to use it. (All this is impossible in the real game.) I wanted him to shoot all the people with his bow and arrows since it was the last mission, therefore it would not impact greatly on the lives spared rate. RH had a different plan though and refused to shoot them, instead he just stood there and nearly died.
The scene changed back to the cave and it looked slightly different. Then a MSN conversation popped up; it was a 20 by 10 meter square. It was from J saying he really was back now. I answered something and entered the box somehow. I crossed a bridge over a river to a white van parked outside J's house. I pushed it away with ease whilst laughing. Then I put it back.
There was a scene change to the cave, which had been seriously renewed. Instead of having to walk up the steep steps to the exit, little wagons on rails drove you up. A black and golden dog, who had a video camera attached to him, had been smuggled into the cave to spy on an evil Italian fat guy resembling that evil puppeteer guy from Pinocchio. The dog jumped into a car and hid there. The car was lowered into a deep water hole. Some divers sat in that car. They found the dog, who had hidden in the boot of the car. He nearly drowned, but just managed to escape through the back doors.
There was some weird scene change to this person trying to cook spaghetti by just pouring hot water from the tap on it. He put it into a bowl and put it on an old wooden table. He went to a back storeroom and when he returned this old women said that he should eat chocolate sauce with the spaghetti. He did! How disgusting is that? Spaghetti with chocolate sauce? Gross...

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Dream 3 (15th of March)


Next dream was really really really weird! Some woman was going to have a sex change operation against her will. The doctor injected the sedative into her hand. He performed the operation, which was partially seen. A few weeks later the woman or rather now man sat on her/his new genitals and she found out that it really hurts. Dunno how possible it is for a person who had a sex change to feel anything "down there" though. Not entirely sure how they "connect" the nerves, so I wouldn't know.


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Dream 4 (15th of March)


I was going to a Chinese restaurant with the parents and grandparents. Granny was driving, but I was scared she would drive wrong, but she didn't. We parked right next to it. We went inside and up some steps. There were two swimming pools on either side of a "space" containing couches. People were still swimming although some guards were making sure no one else went in. These little boys kept jumping in and splashing us. There also was an old woman, who apparently had been in there all day; she was watching us suspiciously. I told Penny about the dream I had with the dog in summary. A waiter gave Penny and me a present wrapped up in plastic. The little boys made a MEGA splash, so I bypassed the guards and jumped in with the present and fully dressed. The waiter asked me in German why I had done that and I responded: "I got splashed and was so wet already that it makes no difference whether I jump in or not." He gave me a towel and I opened the present and found that it was a really bizarre alarm clock and luckily it still worked! You could regulate the size of the knobs on it. It was really strange... Penny said she had blamed her iPod of being bizarre, but it was the music from the over-head loudspeakers that was bugging as she hugged Grandpa. She was going to show the present to Grandpa, but I woke up...

THE END

What's new? Once again why am I asking you? Well, apart from the new Physics assistant "Okay with hair" [the previous assistant was nicknamed Okay as each of his phrases would start and end with okay; this one doesn't do it but from lack of inspiration I called the new one "OK with hair" as OK was balding] made the fuses blow twice by switching his machine on and succeeded in breaking the microphone. We couldn't hear anything after that. These girls were talking about these gay guys they knew and how they thought Mareda (Organic Chemistry Prof) might be gay. Don't think so... "He's not wearing a wedding ring." Yeah? Neither am I. Does that make me gay? I think the "electrician" guy is gay but that's a WHOLE different story. In fact it's already been told in the er... well January 2007 section or May 2007, either way somewhere down there.

Also oops... You go to jail for 5 years for filming someone without their knowledge. Oops... Damn there's me locked up for 10 years at least... Oh well as long as it's solitary and you can have music (and Internet) sounds ideal.

Anyway moving rapidly right along before someone takes in what was written up there: The Head Vet in England DIED so the internship got canceled... Poor guy, he was real nice too. Have to find somewhere else now. The problem is the peep who answer the phone never know whether they offer internships or not. Honestly throw me a frickin brain here! You WORK there! How can you NOT know?! ANYway found one in Gainsborough which is God knows where. Some dump probably, 30 minutes away from Doncaster. Great. Really... The one in Doncaster doesn't know and the one in Edenhorpe on Thorne Road was engaged. Yay, then we have one in Balby and Bentley and another one in Armthorpe.

Might go to England end of March. The prices are UBBER expensive tho and the one coming back on the 12th of April leaves at 05:20 AM!!! EVEN worse than the 06:30 AM one!!

Anyway it's getting late and nothing's happening so better sleep or do something similar.

What you doing on your birthday Rhubarb? Wanna do a webbie on or after it? You're gonna be SO old! Don't believe it!!! Legal adult (at least in Europe) age! Scary... See ya in June!

Now how about a poem? Yeah probably a bad idea. So over and out. Roger that? If you did: why are you still here or more importantly why am I still here? Bye and cya in cyberspace!

Peace.

Hiya y'all! Bored outta my brain. I know what's coming... "What brain?" Yup that's what I'd like to know. Anyway how about a little video featuring... a ping pong ball?! Here it is! If you would like to know why someone would film a ping pong match this way you better ask head of direction, I'm just the uploader. Oh wait did I mention that the head of direction doesn't exist? Don't say that I didn't warn you that watching this video is a waste of time 'cos I just did! No honestly I did! Just back there! Anyway I actually don't own the rights to this video. Ha! I lied!!! In fact Rhubarb owns them, but since it's filmed here (in Switzerland) on "my" ping pong table partially featuring my voice I figured "hey it's as good as mine" and we're related too! Normally the cameraman/woman would own the rights but there isn't one! So what ya gonna do about it? Ha, I'm just the Best, baby! Well compared to a maggot at least and even there competition would be tough...

Filmed last year in June.

Better update as it has been quite a while...

Yay for updates. OK first off: Rhubarb, you asked how that kewl lightening effect was achieved on that Scottish Man movie. WELL: filmed it with the Mac in-built iSight webcam via iMovie. Then added the effects including lightening and thunder clasp after. Who said Macs were crap? Oh yes it was YOU over there! Well... Say that again and there'll be deep deep Vista-in-pink trouble! No idea what that entails (can that word even be used in this context?), but probably either ninja kicking or something of the sort...
Went to England! It was sort of a month ago now, but never mind. So what happened? Er... Something no doubt. Went to the pub with grandparents, Mother, Mr Halstead and Mr Burke. We went to the Eagle and Child. Since it's got a new owner it's mighty ''suckerish'' IE it sucks. B's cod was frazzled and we had to wait for over an hour to be served.
Otherwise nothing much. Basically walking 'round Frenchgate with my ''J''. That security guard Gary AKA ''Franko'' who works there saw us go round like 10 times. There's also an Asian guy. I bet he's really good at Kung Fu!
Other than that? Oh yes, very important! Don't ever set fireworks off unless you want to be surrounded by people demanding where certain ''merchandise'' is. In other words if you hear a firework sounding in the dead of night, it means the drugs have landed. Why the moronic police don't try and trace them and arrest the whole lot is above me, but isn't always oh-so-much-simpler-to-just-pretend-not-to-know?
Also apparently Bawtry is really shady at night...
Anyway England is going to the dogs. Why anyone would move there is a mystery... Oh wait I'M moving there... Oh well who ever knows why I do anything? I don't even know half the time!
It's a month on and we still haven't had a webbie. Since we have VTX as a Iprovider Internet seems to be working better and is supposed to be faster... Oh? Compared to what? Dial-up?! At least it works, only now the bloody airport plays up. Great. So much for technological advances...
It is kind of scary how reliant we are on machines, electricity and Internet. We're so dependant on technology, that if it should ever fail, humanity (apart from some African/South American/Australian tribes) would be doomed! People would go mad from shear boredom and since they spend so much time using machines that their lives would be void. We didn't have Internet for 2 weeks. It wasn't actually that bad, it was just annoying 'cos you would think ''Oh I'll just check it on the Internet... Oh damn we don't have any!'' Dial-up takes bloody ages with its 45.5-46.5 kb/s. How people got anything done before wireless/broadband is a complete and utter mystery.
Anyway... What can be said except ''bloody uni computers''! You just want to do ctrl+alt+del to check CPU and these morons reprogrammed it so you can log out... Great. Must be in ctrl panel somewhere but I'm not looking for it.
Was this the 3rd weirdest post EVER? Yeah thought so. Anyway have fun now, good luck with anything and see you mid-June and you better stay longer!
Oh yeah forgot: got an unconditional offer from Sheffield for Zoology.
Oh YES and what's more: we really need to clean out the chalet as there is some weird growth starting to appear on the floor. Here is the evidence! Er... Well actually there isn't any as I didn't take any photos... So you'll just have to take my word for it!
Gawd I'm ugly today. I'd post a photo, but I'm afraid the Internet may crash... More on the chalet later.
Over and out.