To quote, yet again seeing as the self invented ones weren't really all that good, Elton John: ''Everybody is bi(sexual).''

• a) Speak for yourself.
• b) Any excuse will do, won't it? (up to you to find out what the insinuation is)
• c) The world is going to turn into one giant fruit cake!

Not that it matters how many gays there are, but it might get a bit dull friend wise. Won't put it on here => Robbie Williams' song Supreme. You know what bit I mean. Oh well, may as well write it: ''(...) All the handsome men are gay (...) you feel deprived...''
I was just wondering: do straight people also have a ''GayDar'' (gay + radar => gay people's ability to recognize other gays)? 'Cos I wanna know whether I'm right about that electrician guy and usually I'm pretty good at spotting a gay. Of course some heteros look well, sorry- no offence to anyone- queer and gays look ''normal''.
Anyway that won't solve the climate problems and no I'm not obsessed. Talking of which, how is Jerry Butler doing?

Microsoft Vista? Oh yes, let's all rush to the next Microsoftic trash! Bet you it will keep crashing. Nothing will be compatible and it will be ubber expensive. If one must buy it, I'd say it's best to wait for a few years until it's better (or realistically it will never be better, maybe more stable). My butt, this is better that Windows! It's good? What are you comparing it to? Windows NT? They stole that thing from Mac!!! That's the dashboard! Oh my god, these stealing idiots! I don't believe it! Yeah and it's not compatible with any other machinery. Super, everything controlled by a Microsoft PC? That spells chaos. Hope they don't install it on airplanes otherwise you may as well go on a trip to suicide land! Seriously, does Bill Gates ever invent anything himself? No, his colleagues do, but they spy and steal it from Mac. If Macs were cheaper and a bit more user friendly (for all those idiots out there, AKA Bush) they'd take off! Sadly Bill buys or copies to death concurrent firms who could possibly be a Mac ally. Apparently he went on a tour around the Apple building before he was known and stole stuff then. It's one thing to be inspired, but quite another thing to nearly drive a company into bankruptcy!

Great. In Germany you can choose between unemployment or environment protection! => Mines are closing, but all the minors will have no jobs and there'll be even more people without work!

I can only say what I said about 3 or 4 years ago: Bush and Bill Gates should form a group of idiots and invite Violi, Anja, Salmonella, (poachers, evil/idiotic people) and others! Whoa that's more than half the population gone!

Speaking of statistics: how many gay people are there? Is it me or does it seem that whatever side you turn to there is someone gay standing there? Maybe that Elton John music has something to do with it. 0_O. The magic number seems to be 10% of men and 5% of woman. I was thinking 30%. There's this one guy, he's probably the electrician, anyhow he switches the microphones on, to get back to the guy I've managed to class him under gay/straight pervert or well that's it really. Pervert meaning the BDSM whip cracking thing mentioned in the September or October section (like that seriously annoying Biology examiner we had for the Matu). Furthermore, whatever TV show you watch, there's always a gay in it. There was a ''documentry'' about it. It said that it was difficult to know who's gay and who isn't since hetero people dress ''gaily''. Fascinating, eh?

Sooty. Isn't he cute?

Come to think of it, there was going to be a conference about the bird 'flu, actually I think I missed it. Oops. Our news always does that! A scandal happens; they talk about it for the next three weeks. After that period, they either go back to giving you useless info, such as who won Wimbledon or some new awful thing takes place and they go ranting on about that. You never hear anything about the previous scandal.

What have I been doing? Honestly? Nothing, since I was ill both this weekend and the last. It's a sort of a cold, which is to afraid to express itself. It comes and goes as it pleases, without actually leaving. Its presence is always felt.

Some people destroy their house or become aggressive when they are angry about something or at somebody. I however destruct that person’s character and smash into a million tiny pieces by writing a whole text about their stupidity and what they said and did. I can tell you one thing though: it may be a lot cheaper, but it just doesn't have that clang to it. It lacks that certain je ne sais quoi. Well, it is better than saying it to their face. The rant about Salmonella already is made up of 4'177 words and various illustrations. It was written in five days in the evening usual whilst watching a films or series (Desperate Housewives, Medium, etc...). So, does that make me a bad person or can we settle for weird? The furniture is safe from destruction, so that's not too bad.

Waiting for Biology practical to begin. This week it's all about algae. We have to draw the reproduction system yet again! As the professor said: '' Botanists spend their time looking at the genitals of plants, algae and fungi.''. Great prospects, right? It won't be a very long practical. The longest bit is drawing those excruciatingly annoying pictures. It's fun, but sometimes it is very difficult to see anything with the microscope. Maximum it lasts 3 hours, which is a good time. Not like sadistic Chemistry that goes on for four hours without any breaks. During Bio, you can talk whilst you are waiting for the next batch of bacteria, fungi or whatever to be handed out, without being reprimanded. It's also a lot more interesting than Chemistry and Physics combined could ever be. It's going to start soon, so Salute!

Isn't milk chops cute?

Gawd, I feel like I'm in a washing machine going round and round and round. Ma head is spinning, man.
Hope it isn't a bout of bird 'flu! What happened to SARS and bird 'flu anyway? You just don't hear about them anymore

Well, made first ever pancakes on Thursday and here's the first one:




Thanx for the Christmas card and the CDs. They got here yesterday.

Yet again, waiting for the Biology practical to start. It's going to be about fungi! We have to draw the sexual and asexual reproduction stages. The worst thing about Biology practicals is the drawing. Why couldn't we take photos, print them and name the different parts? Anyway, it could be worse, at least we don't have to eat that disgusting cheese with the mold on it.
Well, COMMENT + UPDATE and eat, breathe, work, sleep, etc...

Here's a part of the ''Salmonella rant'', which I don't think I'll post, but I just couldn't withhold it from you. Salmonella was that annoying girl, no not Claire, from my school. Salmonella's jut a nickname, L+P+me invented for her. Everything written below is true:

''Salmonella used to let rip these awful SBDs. She waved her arms about in a fanning movement, turn to me and say: ‘‘It stinks in here.’’. Thanks for the info, but I had realized that! It could only be her, since Guillaume was nowhere near us and she started fanning (in my direction, if I might add!) before anyone else could smell anything. She had the type of face, which said: ‘‘My farts stink’’ and she showed no shame or remorse. What’s worse, she lied about it! A smile, even dumber than her usual one, would appear on her face nearly making her ears fall off, she would laugh and comment on the pong. That smile hid something, mainly that she knew very well who had farted, contrarily to what she had claimed. She did it about three times. It was really disgusting. That gas mask from Granny’s attic would have come in really handy! Instead the good old ‘‘breathing through your mouth’’ had to suffice. It thought I might faint! She wasn’t even embarrassed.''

Once again, waiting for Physics practical to commence. This is the last time, for next week we don't have them any more! To quote, well several people from Blackadder actually: ''Hoorah and Hoozah!'' and also here's a little ''knob'' joke as the director from Blackadder, dunno whether it's Ben Elton or Richard Curtis who's in charge of these type of jokes, called them, this one's from Blackadder: goes fourth: Kevin Darling: ''I could make it very hard for you!'' Blacky: ''Please, Darling we have ladies present''. Make of that what you will. I should tell you that this phrase out of context could mean anything (too bad I mentioned that it was a ''knob'' joke further up), but what it really means is this: Blacky has to find a German spy and interrogated Kev, whom he always calls Darling. Blacky tied him to a chair and well you have to watch it really. Mwahahahaha..! If sarcasm doesn't work, a nice ''knob'' joke will always do the trick! That's what you can learn from Blacky. No, just kidding.

Nobody found the pun from that post in November, so here it is: it was a bout the word minute. One sense means minuscule and and the other is (in the realms of time) minute. Told you it was hilarious!

Here's a little ''spontaneous'' joke I came up with, during that exceptionally boring or rather ordinarily boring, because there's nothing exceptional about it, since it's boring every week, Chemistry practical. We were handling Chloroform (CCl4). Here's the sort of joke:

Student: Can we smell the Chloroform?
Teacher: (wasn't listening and is talking to the rest of the class): Knock yourselves out (figuratively speaking)!
Student: Ok! (sniffs and faints!)
What do you expect with all those toxic fumes?

Is it time for another rant? Who's with me? Yay or nay? What d'you mean ''no''? No is not an option. You can only choose between ''yay'' or ''nay''. Oh well see ya after torturous Chemistry...

No, no, no... For cats it's five years and for dogs it's seven, 'cos cats live longer than dogs and if the longevity of the animals are about the same as humans ==> Humans live about 100 years.
Cats: 20 years, so you multiply by 5.
Dogs: 10 for big ones, so you multiply by 7.
As the vet on TV said, it's not exact, it's more or less correct, but not exact. Oops used exact twice, oh well. Don't ask: ''Well, cats always lived to about 20 years, but humans didn't always live to 100.''. As said, it's not very precise.

Once again we've been leaping to conclusions to quickly, Grisou wasn't dead at all, why he's here right now, sleeping under he table. He's looking really old; he's got arthritis in his legs and paws. He still recognizes us though. He must be about 20 years old (about 100 years in cat years). Here's an old picture from 2005:



He's so cute... He must of been such a cute ball of fluff as a kitten...

Good Luck!!!

Well we're going to get a new schedule after half term holidays (End Feb 'til 12th March). It'll be great! We will start at 10:15 on Monday and there will be no more Chem practicals!!!! So we finish at 13:45. On Tuesday, nothing changes except that we have no more Physics practicals, so we'll finish at 12:00. Actually we only have 2 Physics practicals left, so this will already happen in 3 weeks. Wednesday we have a four hour lunch break, which is sort of annoying, maybe I'll go home, who knows? Thursday nothing changes and Friday is worse than before since we will finish at 4, instead of 12 o'clock.
Here's a short summary to make the boredom complete:

Monday: 10:15 - 13:45
Tuesday: 08:15 - 12:00
Wednesday: 08:15 - 10:00 // 14:15 - (well latest 6) Usually ~16:30
Thursday: 08:15 - 12:00
Friday: 08:15 - 16:00

Will post a more precise one later. Good days are: Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
We have a Physics practical in an hour. There isn't really any new news except: watched Hidalgo yesterday and the ending was cute.

Let's do this in a structured manner, shall we? Ok, here goes:

• a) Thanx and you're welcome.
  
• b) The leaves and grass are under paint brush or pencil (but the pain brush one is better) then you go to the place near the top of the screen, where you can pic the size and kind of brush and there are quite a few cool things, including: falling Maple leaves, falling leaves, star, single grass, tuff of grass, etc...
• c) What are you worried about, Raspberry? You'll do fine. You always have and you always will. You weren't called Smarty Pants for nothing... or was that Whinge Pot Pen? Either way, if you've revised, you have nothing to worry about. To quote this character from a book: ''Worry and stress is for the unprepared''. He was right to some extent. Besides, if you're related to the Hancock family, you won't fail! You're not my cousin for nothing you know!

Once again the holidays have finished. They are never long enough and you actually really need holidays to recover from the holidays.

''Watch it and weep'' means => watch it and cry, because the memorium is so bad and contains badly edited Photoshop pictures, since I can't use Photoshop to save my life and therefore will probably never use it again, until that manual resides here. Want proof? Just look at that picture below.

Check on YouTube to find a memorium to him, watch it and weep.