Here's a part of the ''Salmonella rant'', which I don't think I'll post, but I just couldn't withhold it from you. Salmonella was that annoying girl, no not Claire, from my school. Salmonella's jut a nickname, L+P+me invented for her. Everything written below is true:

''Salmonella used to let rip these awful SBDs. She waved her arms about in a fanning movement, turn to me and say: ‘‘It stinks in here.’’. Thanks for the info, but I had realized that! It could only be her, since Guillaume was nowhere near us and she started fanning (in my direction, if I might add!) before anyone else could smell anything. She had the type of face, which said: ‘‘My farts stink’’ and she showed no shame or remorse. What’s worse, she lied about it! A smile, even dumber than her usual one, would appear on her face nearly making her ears fall off, she would laugh and comment on the pong. That smile hid something, mainly that she knew very well who had farted, contrarily to what she had claimed. She did it about three times. It was really disgusting. That gas mask from Granny’s attic would have come in really handy! Instead the good old ‘‘breathing through your mouth’’ had to suffice. It thought I might faint! She wasn’t even embarrassed.''