OK, I know I said I'd stop ranting about Claire, but if I put everything in one post and do a catharsis it'll be over, so settle down and tune in fooooorrrr: Claire- a psychoanalysis as a catharsis for the benefit of everybody or at least me. Everybody sitting comfortably? Got your popcorn? Orange juice? Chocolate? Good, let's start then, shall we? Here we go:

Claire? Claire. What can be said about Claire? She's a hypocrite, a liar, a cheater and a (synonym of) self-absorbed twit. You want proof, eh? Doesn't my omni-potent speech suffice to convince you? ''No''? OK, here's the proof:

-A Cheater:
This is the clearest piece of evidence. Ready? Good. She cheated during a Biology test. She put the folder on her lap and just started copying. The teacher walked around the classroom as teachers do looking for cheaters. Of course she was caught and received a 0. She showed no remorse nor did she say or do anything else.

-A liar:
She fakes things: during English she faked her ill being: ''Oh, I feel SO bad. Ow, my stomach!''. Since you can't just leave the school and have to ring home, she went downstairs and dialed a random number and pretended to be speaking with her mother: ''I feel so bad. Can I come home? No, you don't have to fetch me. I'll walk''. How do I know this? She told me whilst studying Biology. Then she left and you could see her SKIPPING home. How dumb is that? There are windows in the classroom, obviously somebody is going to look out and see her. The teacher noticed. The week after, she tried again to no avail. The teacher may be stupid, but not THAT stupid. Who knows whether what else she says is true. She tells me I have no friends or style and she's doing this for my own good??? How can she claim that when in M1 everything I said was laughworthy. She mocked me. Her fake laugh can be heard ringing through the corridors of our school and bus. I've hearth her talking about me behind my back (even though she was sitting in the seat right in front of me). Can't people say things to your face? How else are you going to change? Politely, not like Claire, without tact. Also she wants to borrow money every day even though she has some! I've seen her asking around for money, when I could see the 20 Francs in her wallet!!!

-A hypocrite:
When you're of no use to her, you're part of the school accessory, you're like a coat hanger to some one who never wears a coat. This girl, whom I shall Enan for non-identification reasons, is multo intelligent, but has problems with, ya know, body odor. Claire asks her for help all the time in Biology, Chemistry, Maths, French and German. We were going home with these two other people on the train and Claire was saying how Enan stinks and wondered whether she used deodorant, whether she even knew what deo is and to top that, no deo in the world would be strong enough for her. ''The only thing that smells worse than her is her brother''. How mean is that??? And she has no problem in asking Enan for help. Can you believe her? Also why can she draw butts and scribble on my book?!? If I dare to do one cute little I-don't-know-what on her book, she freaks. If you don't like it, neither do I! When she phoned this one time her message was: ''Hello. Ring me back.'' She always wanted to borrow my telephone to make phone calls. I'm not a bottomless pit of money!!! She also always uses my pens and markers, when hers are perfectly all right, albeit old. Instead she can empty my ones. She packs mine into her pencil case probably accidentally, but you never know. When you ask her for it back, she acts as though I'm asking her to give me her house. When she's missing a pen, the first she looks is my pencil case. The worst she ever did was this => during the revision, we did old exam papers. In English, German and French we wrote summaries; in Chem and Maths we did old exam papers and in Bio we thought it would be the same. Only half the people had their lesson folder with them. I had the exercises he gave before the holidays 'cos I left it in my bag. Anyway since we were going to read through the lesson, we had to sit next to somebody who had it. Claire didn't have anything of course. She saw that I had a paper, she said: ''I don't have my stuff. I'll just sit with you.'' I told her I only had the exercises, not the lesson. She responded: ''Oh.'', crossed the room and sat with some one else. The class had an impair number so I got to sit alone and try to see the lesson of the guys sitting in front. Needless to say that I was put out and insulted. It's' like saying: ''You're useful for something. Oh, wait I was wrong. Frankly if somebody rich, laden with sweets came by, she'd be off like a flash.


-A thief:
She uses people as a non-paybackable bank. Her motto must be: my money is not worth spending, your's is. She only wants 10 Francs. ONLY??? If you refuse 'cos you only have enough money for yourself, she practically snatches the purse out of your hands to check whether you are telling the truth. She owed Salmonella 100 Frs!!! Not that I'm a fan o Salmonella, but still Claire couldn't just ''steal'' that money from her! Then she wanted me to buy this stupid scratching card for her. She won 5 Frs and instead of giving them to me as a payback for the 10 Frs price of the ticket or as a payback for the 20 Frs you owe me!!! Her Father works at the UN! How poor can she be? Dunno why I accepted. She dragged me into that stupid shop. Guess I'm some sort of idiot.

-Rants about her home (a hypocrite):
Why did I have to move my butt to her house? Her excuse was the most pathetic one ever told in the history of excuses. She said in very bad German: ''I have all my stuff here. If I went to your place, I'd have to pack my stuff. So? SO? I have to pack my stuff when I go to her place. Once her house stank of dog poo. There was a humungous pile of dog poo on the floor, which I was supposed to have brought in. The thing is the poop wasn't squashed; it looked like a dog had just pooped there. Of course I stepped in it and carried it into the kitchen. Who got the blame? Moi. The problem is that it would have to be attached to the shoe --> Oo <--- like this. If you step in it outside though, it usually doesn't stick to your shoe that way. OK, I came on the bike and there was no dog poo on the route. We ended up cleaning the bottom of the house. Where was the maid? Dunno but she sure kept a low profile whilst we were cleaning. The probability of me being the one who brought the poop is 90%. Later, on the way home I saw a dog lying in the middle of the road... The stink of the dog poop was only a slight improvement from the acrid stench of urine that lingered in the kitchen and corridor. Frankly, if you had guests would you leave? Already twice, whilst I was there she disappeared => 1: She went upstairs to clean her room and she came late.
=>2: She went upstairs after lunch for 20 minutes and I got to wait in the kitchen.
Then in Bio, not only doe she keep casting my remarks aside and each time I explained something she didn't believe me and kept saying: ''Are you sure?'' and ''Whatever'', she also kept interrupting with very important news flashes such as: ''I feel like shaving my arm pits'', yeah? Well, I'd rather be doing a Physics lesson than be here, but doesn't mean I say it out loud! Then we had another very important nugget of info: ''I was shaving my pubic hair before you came.'' that is what I classify under ''too much information'', but I didn't say nothin'.